Sailing Away
by Wanting Memories
Summary: Rain remembering the reason she left her family, and what lead to her improved powers.


A/N: For more background on the posts in the misc/games section, e-mail me and I will be happy to give you the 411.

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_I'm sailing away…_

The wind rifted through her hair and managed to pick up her dirt-packed braids and sway them in time with the clouds. The day was lovely. So beautiful she managed to stand without collapsing or crying herself into a stupor. At first she had thought the nice whether an unwelcome irony, and quite frankly, she didn't feel at all like laughing. The thoughts of how blue the sky was and how soft the warm breeze was on that day, simply created more tumbling feelings inside her, which intermixed with the now constant pounding ache in her abdomen.

But she barely felt it. She knew what it meant, when she was aware of it. She knew her body was betraying her. She knew her body was forgetting what her child meant to her, distracted too much by the throbbing pain all through her.

She knew she wasn't going to be a mother after all.

She had lain in the mud for what must have been hours, only to grow cold and all the more angered by the sight of such a wonderful spectacle shinning down upon this hideous day. The shadows from the trees around her caused the mud to turn cool, and the only warmth she felt as she lay there were small patches of appealing sunlight beaming through the branches. The warmth is what forced her to get up. She knew then that she was losing the baby, and had decided when that realization came to her that she too was going to die right there, in that damned little mud hole with her child. She never turned her head to her right; she didn't want to see Tassel's open glazed eyes. Not because she was bothered by death, no—bodies surrounded her, death did not affect her in that way—it was because Tassel was no longer Tassel. He was…nothing. Empty.

Getting up finally, a horrid pain sliced through her midsection. Her back and belly ached with every step she took into the sunlight. Hand on hip to support her flimsy torso, Rain climbed out of the woods, up a slight incline to stand at the top of a cliff.

She was trailing blood and she wasn't sure how much of it was from her face and how much was from what was seeping down her legs. Vaguely, she thought about the fact that she would have to take her leggings off under her skirt so she would be able to miscarry successfully. She cringed at the thought and a deep sadness grew heavier on her heart.

Reaching the top, she managed to keep standing because of the sun. She had been appalled by the day being so pleasant, but now she was considering it as a mercy and the only comfort she had to offer herself. She was glad to be away from that mud pit. She didn't want to give her baby up beside her dead husband, even if the baby too would be dead.

She had been raised by a people who burned their dead. She had often heard such terms as "barbaric," and "disrespectful" when outsiders witnessed these funerals, but she had always wanted to have her body burned after she died. In away, she had always seen it as a thing of respect. She had always believed that bodies just became empty shells when the soul left, and she wouldn't want her body just lying there as a memory of death. Rather, she wished for her family to carry on her traditions and hopes for them after she died. That way she would be remembered as she was in life. Dead, empty carcasses lying around just reminded her of the mortality of those she loved. That was what she had seen when she _had_ glanced over to her dead husband. She didn't like seeing that empty look on his face. That _mortal_ look on his face.

Tassel had never been mortal to her before. They had grown up together; they had fallen in love and created a life together. They had planned a future—a child. That never seemed mortal to her. Hell, she had always thought that love conquered all, and so provided you with a sort of divinity. She had never entertained thoughts of living forever, but she had believed that she and Tassel would pass down their legacy to their children and so on. That was what made them immortal.

But he was dead, and so was their baby. He had no legacy, every hope of immortality died with him and then again in his wife's womb.

As for Rain, well she didn't want to be immortal anymore.

She found she could no longer stand from the torment in her womb. Dropping down to sit on the fragrant grass, Rain bent to pull her leggings off. She freed the doorway for her child to die. Sunshine warmed her dark hair as she waited…it was the only thing she could do. She would wait.

A small teardrop fell from her eye as she felt her muscles clench and release, clench and release.

>

Later, she lay in the warm grass with blood around her and a tiny girl in her arms. The child had been wiped clean, but she wasn't sure by whom. Someone's pack of supplies was nestled under her knees and another under her head to support her paining back. The world seemed dim to her. Had she fallen asleep? Passed out?

The child in her arms was dead, as she had known she would be. She just hadn't expected her to look so alive, as if she were sleeping. She was also the tiniest baby Rain had ever seen. She fit perfectly in her mother's palm and her skin was so soft. Everything on her was perfect, just smaller than most babies. Well, not perfect or else she would still be alive now. Rain ran her finger's over her daughter's cheeks and kissed her softly on the forehead.

>

Rain stood at the end of the dock awaiting the girl who had aided her in her baby's death, Mastuki. The strange girl had even helped Rain burn the baby's body and said a little prayer with her. The girl—Mastuki—never asked her what happened, and Rain appreciated that. Rain hadn't spoken a word to her yet, and Mastuki seemed content with that. Very rare from a fourteen-year-old.

Mastuki had short red hair and wore green slacks and tunic with a wrap for her arms when she got cold. The green she wore brought out her eyes very efficiently. Rain liked her and appreciated her.

Small gusts of wind brought in the brackish smell of the water before her. She searched her heart and felt nothing. She felt numb and cold and ridged. She supposed she would get over that. If she didn't then she would just end her life and be done with it.

She heard Mastuki's foot steps in the planks as she approached. Turning to her, Rain greeted her with a nod.

"Suppose you're ready to get out of here, huh?"

"Yes."

The girl was taken aback slightly, and then she smiled softly. "Okay, let's load up then."

There really wasn't much loading up. Mastuki had her things in two packs and had the cargo that needed delivered already in the small sailboat, but Rain helped untie the rope from the dock. She coiled the rough material into a number of lose loops and hung them on a hook on the port side.

"There we are," Mastuki smiled into the developing sunset as she guided the small but sturdy boat out to the bay. "At what port to you want me to drop you?"

Rain watched the small waves slap against the outside of the vessel. The water turned orange as the sun set deep into the west sky. She leaned on the railing. "I don't know."

Mastuki let out the sail fully and sat down. "Well, I guess you'll just have to follow me around for a while then."

Rain turned her head to watch the girl. She raised an eyebrow at her.

"I mean, you could just hang around and I could teach you a little bit more about the area. You'd be traveling so you would get to see everything."

Rain closed her eyes and felt the wind on her face. She opened them and looked back to the girl who had probably saved her life. If not from injury, then from herself.

"I have an uncle who has his own ranch and he could teach you some things about being on your own. Teach you how to ride a horse too."

"I can ride already."

Mastuki smiled and stared straight on toward the sunset. "Okay, well he and I can both coach you on that thing you can do."

Now it was Rain taken aback. "What?"

It was then that Mastuki turned back to look Rain in the eyes. "You know, you've had it all your life, but you can't really do anything with it unless you are very, very upset. The thing you do with your head. You can _push_."

Rain stared at the strange girl in front of her. "How did you know that?" She had kept it hidden from outsiders.

Mastuki laughed. "I have it a little bit too, but Uncle Daja has a much better grasp on it."

"And why would I want to learn to develop it?"

The girl dropped her eyes to her knees and began to fiddle with her pant leg. "Well, you'd be able to defend yourself better with it. And anyone else you wanted to help."

Rain turned back to the sunset and contemplated what she was doing. Her family, she had left them. They had no clue where she was. Not that she would have been able to find them with the condition she was in. She was now with this girl, this person she didn't even know. She probably wouldn't stay any longer than necessary, but then what would she do? Travel around looking for odd jobs? She was so numb from the trauma, when she thought of the possibility of being forced to sell herself, she neither cringed nor felt anything in her mind or body change. If she stayed in this state she would just have to kill herself. Either way, it didn't matter to her. Rain fell silent. Her baby. Tassel. Tassel. She might have been able to save them both if she had been stronger. _My daughter. Tassel._

The wind had picked up during their conversation and the boat was gliding along the water easily now.

"Alright." She closed her eyes then opened them to the sunset again.

The cooling breeze flew around her hair.

_I'm sailing away…_


End file.
